All He Ever Wanted
by Silverwind24
Summary: Roger watches Mimi as she sleeps and wakes, and learns something about treasuring each moment and the beauty of simplicity.


**All He Ever Wanted**

A/N: This is my first Rent fanfic, just a little snapshot of Roger and Mimi's life after the end of the show/movie. And I love reviews!

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He had thought that she was beautiful the moment he saw her, even when she was wearing a ridiculous, mismatched, and ragged assortment of clothing, with her uncombed hair pulled away from her face and falling loosely down her back. There was something about the way that she walked, as if every step that she took was part of a dance. She spoke with such confidence, stood up straight, and looked into his eyes like she was challenging him to prove something to her, and he still hadn't figured out what.

Even in her poise, her easy way of laughing, and the smile that could make any man's jaw drop, she was so young. And so thin. He had noticed that right away, and as much as she intimidated him with her display of strength, the vulnerability in her slender frame made her more accessible and real, not just an angel sent to show him that there could be more to life than loss and lies. That seemed ironic now, because their relationship had been damaged by lies since its tenuous beginning, and to her- he had lost his heart.

He watched her now, curled up beside him, her eyes closed and the expression on her face content and relaxed. She was undeniably cat-like as she slept, occasionally stretching her limbs and repositioning herself, nestling unconsciously against him and sighing. As she slept, she seemed to lose the gaunt look that had haunted her as of late, and he could almost believe that she was a normal, healthy twenty-one year old girl with her whole life ahead of her, instead of his Mimi.

He wanted her to wake, irrationally, so she could look at him and smile. He would do anything to make her smile. Even on the days where she would look at him blankly, sorrow seeping out of her eyes like tears, he wouldn't allow himself to rest until her lips were parted in even the slightest smile. Those days were hard on them all, because Mimi was the light that kept the rest of them out of the darkness. It was as if Angel had passed the candle of hope to her after it had flickered and almost died when Angel did. Who would be strong enough to keep it burning once Mimi was gone?

She murmured in her sleep, as if she were about to wake up. He brushed her hair away from her face, his fingers lingering on her hairline before sliding down to her cheek. She stirred again, and then smiled without opening her eyes. He held his breath as he watched her, caught in suspense as her eyelids fluttered, and he waited for her to wake. Suddenly, her dark, wide, brown eyes were on him, looking into his own sleepily. His heart was able to start beating again as he smiled down on her, watching her own mouth curve into a smile as she simultaneously yawned and stretched. Then she sank back down into the pillows and blankets that covered the bed, watching him from where she lay. He waited for her to speak with the same intensity that he had waited for her to awake, longing for the sweet sound of her voice saying his name to reach his ears.

"Mornin' Rog," she said softly, finding his hand and lacing her fingers through his.

"Good morning, Mimi," he replied, leaning in and kissing her forehead.

"It has to be the afternoon by now," she said, propping herself up on her elbows to look towards the window.

"Nope! In fact, the sun's barely just risen," he replied, and she shot him a look, knowing that the sun was high in the sky, and the day was most likely well into the afternoon.

"Have you been waiting for me to wake up all day?" she asked him, lowering her head to the pillow again, and Roger could tell, though she had slept the better half of the day away, exhaustion had settled deep into her bones and not even her passion for life could free her from it.

"Did you think I would be able to walk away from you for one second?" he asked, and it came off sounding more serious than he had intended it to. That didn't stop it from being true, so he looked sincerely into her eyes instead of being lighthearted. She smiled her pained, broken smile, and he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it.

"I'm tired, Roger. I sleep and sleep but I'm still tired." She looked at him, her eyes begging for any reassurance, however insubstantial, that he could give her.

"I know," he said with conviction, because he did know, better than anyone else. "I guess," he began, "That means you'll have to stay in bed all day today." She looked at him questioningly. "No ifs, ands, or buts. Mimi Marquez, you are not to leave this bed today no matter what!" His flippancy drew out another smile, but he realized sadly that she probably could not have gotten out of bed even if she had wanted to.

"But Roger," she said, fighting back a giggle, "I have to go to the bathroom."

He paused, and rubbed his chin, thinking. Then he winked at her. "Ok, I'll make an exception. Now scoot!"

She laughed in spite of herself and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, so slowly that it hurt him to watch. She rose to her feet and made her way towards the bathroom with even, measured steps. He watched her walk, his heart almost stopping as every move that she made emphasized her weakness, and the fact that she was hovering so fleetingly between life and the final stage of disease. She was swallowed up by the t-shirt that she wore, and she couldn't hide from him how much weight she had been losing, no matter how much she wanted to. He wondered how much longer before she would lose her job. He felt a pang of guilt for being almost happy that she could never go back to that place. He knew that she loved him totally and completely, with more fidelity than he could have ever hoped for since the night she had nearly died. Almost irrationally, he hated the idea of any man looking at her in lust, when he looked at her and was so much in love.

He listened to her rummaging around in the bathroom, undoubtedly combing her hair, even though he would have loved her just as she was, no matter how tangled her hair was. He heard her slam the door of the medicine cabinet, and he listened to her cough, his heart almost physically hurting as he listened to her bout of coughing conclude with a few wheezing breaths. He pictured her standing before the mirror, looking at herself in near disbelief, and it killed him. He knew that he too was thinner, gaunter, and more hallowed looking than he had been as little as a year ago, but he was able to ignore his own deterioration in his concern for Mimi.

The bathroom door swung open, and she emerged, smiling at him with her lips closed. She stopped and looked at him. "Do I really have to get back in bed?" she asked skeptically, one hand on her hip.

"Absolutely," Roger replied, and when she didn't move, he rose from the bed, crossed the few feet that separated them, and effortlessly swept her into his arms. She couldn't help but laugh, and he spun her around once for good measure before lowering her gently to the bed, his hand behind her head. He looked into her eyes for a moment, and then kissed her, stroking her hair. As he pulled away, he saw that she was smiling, and he grinned in self-satisfaction, that was a fail-proof way to bring a smile to her face. He stared at her for a few more seconds, and when he didn't speak or move she laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, chuckling a little bit himself.

"You. You tell me I can't get out of bed and do anything all day and then you just sit there and look at me!"

"Oh, so you're bored now?"

She smiled cheekily and nodded in affirmation.

"Well, what do you suggest I do to entertain you?" he replied good-naturedly.

Mimi's smile grew wider, and she sat up in bed, sliding closer to him. She looked serious, suddenly, and brought her face very close to his. She rubbed her nose against his cheek, and then kissed him softly on the lips, her hands sliding under his arms.

"Not a bad suggestion at all," Roger murmured, and kissed her back, and as he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her as near as he could, he realized the beauty that lay hidden in every second, and that something as simple as being with this girl, holding her, watching her sleep, and listening to her cry could be all he ever wanted in the world.


End file.
